Juice Feasting

Today marks Day 3 of the Juice Feast that I'm doing with Viktoriya Kosta.

On Day 1, after having just flown back to California from a couple of weeks on the East Coast of the USA, I very altruistically helped my sister to clear her fridge of her very (almost overly) ripe fruit.
Yum.
Here was what I put in my first juice. It made LOTS of juice (enough for both her and I to be quite full) and I lovingly call it "Candy Juice" because of its intense tart sweetness:

Candy Juice
2 limes (peeled)
1 apple (core juiced too)
1/4 cantaloupe
1 thumb ginger (yeah, that means that the piece is roughly thumb sized...)
4 carrots
1/2 pineapple
2 cups watermelon
1/4 cup blueberries
6 stalks celery
3 cups lettuce

The Candy Juice was very yummy, but around the end of the day, I longed for something more. That brings me to one of the major tenets of juice fasting:

Begin making your juice when you feel the FIRST, very pale stirrings of hunger! If you wait until you're in the full throes of hunger, you won't juice. Your stomach will want solid food, even though the juice would likely be more nutrient dense than whatever you'd eat.

Viktoriya tends to be more hardcore than me about things like this, but one of this fast/feast's awesome details is that we're choosing to be very non-dogmatic about it. When we want food, we just eat it. Listening to the body is the name of the game here.

So I'm eating more food, and Viktoriya is going with the mostly liquid diet.

However, when we checked in yesterday (Day 2) on Google Hangouts, she mentioned that she's been having coffee and fruit in the morning. Each to her own.

This morning (Day 3) I made a fresh, tart juice without as much fruit as my Candy Juice but still with the sweetness that oranges bring and the cool smoothness that is a characteristic of cucumber juice.

Here's the recipe:

Classic Juice (this is a combo I often use in varying proportions)
2 Carrots
4 celery stalks
thumb ginger
2 cloves garlic
1 cup fennel
2 cups greens (a kale, chard, spinach mix in this case)
2 small Persian cucumbers
1/2 cup basil

This made me about 2 glasses of juice. Perfect.

One of my favorite things about juicing is the beauty of it. These bright colors don't come with cooked, deadened food.

Lillithia likes the carrot pulp. Fine with me :)

Viktoriya and I will be continuing the juice feast for as long as we feel like it, so if you'd like to connect with us along the way, then check in on her or my facebook feeds - we're posting updates there. :)

Unblocking

Hey, I remember this place!

What is it about a coffee shop and a little jolt of caffeine that sends writer's block packing?
(And by caffeine, I mean the power of suggestion alone - I haven't had more than two sips of my latte and already I have that antsy-idea-flowing-ness that tells me that this is a state of mind, not a state of caffeine high. Give me a half hour and the latter will be true. Right now, it's just the excitement of the place that is reviving my writing efforts.)

Writer's block doesn't work for me the way it does in the movies.

With each book I birth, there is a necessary progression of events that culminate in the literary stork bringing the box of crisp, brown-paper-swaddled newborns to my front door.

First, there's the tingle in my brain that tells me some new work is coming.
Then, my guides yell at me in meditation for awhile until I actually begin writing things down.
(I kid - kind of. They just remind me. Over. And over. And OVER until I finally listen. No yelling. Generally.)

Finally, I begin to document the flashes of memory, experience, and epiphany that course through my brain by writing down a word or two in random places. Currently in my collection I have a tea-stained pink sheet of paper torn from a notebook of my sister's, along with journal pages that I have to flip through and find, along with the ever-present scribbled upon Corner Bakery receipt. That last one is from about 15 minutes ago.

So perhaps the method could use some work...

Although, in my defense, it has been super cool to unexpectedly come across messy, crumpled pieces of paper every now and then stuck in books or old jacket pockets that were the embryonic beginnings of my first and second books. Fun to see how things grow and unfold through time, attention, and energy.

The next step in my process is the one I've been spinning my wheels on for the past couple of months. This has to do with downloading all of the swirling, fluid, living chapters coursing through my consciousness into my physical brain, translating them into words, and then sending them out of my fingertips and into an electronic file. There's a lot of time and energy that goes into that step, and I am completely unable to rush the process, no matter how frustrated I get or how many reminders I get from people who are waiting for the book. (Both things happen, but I also self publish so at least the only person really breathing down my neck is my slightly OCD alter ego that comes in strongly when it's time for me to clean my house or...write something.)

Each combination of unique letters, ideas, words, paragraphs, and images that exists has its own unique energetic vibration and even life force, and these things simply will not be rushed.

When first writing Journal of a Starseed, I was given instruction through meditation on how to imbue a written work with a living/spirit technological code that has historically been embedded in the sacred texts of the world - this is why you can open the Bible, the Koran, the Bhagavad Gita, or countless others to any "random" page after asking a question mentally, and receive an answer to the question you asked.

The way you do it as a writer is to imbue the work with an intentional vibration of consciousness that not only leads it to only those who are meant to read it, but who also reads the human being in turn as the book is read, and gives back the information needed for the human reader's evolution to the highest potential degree.

I know that sounds weird.
But...
Reality is fluid.

And if you've ever read a book or seen a movie more than once, you'll easily remember that each time, different words, scenes, and emotions jumped out and affected you. This is no accident. And as a creator of such things, why not take advantage of this?

(A quick note - this can go both ways. If you sit down to receive guidance in any way and set an intention to use whatever you're looking at or listening to for divination, you'll get the information that you need. As odd as this sounds, a "game" I often play when at a crossroads is to have a glass of wine, sit down in front of a high-vibe movie that I identify with, and look for signs that will help me on my way. Always works. And that is whether or not the creators of the movie had that intention while making it...)

Anyway, when things are flowing and when the new book is ready to be born, I just sit down at my computer and it flows out of me.

My entire life I've been told I had piano hands. Yet reading music is like sending a hack saw into my brain. Disruptive and unpleasant.
So what was the deal? I had to wonder this after the zillionth "piano fingers" comment.

Not true, my main guide told me once after bringing up the piano hand thing. I have keyboard hands. The computer is my instrument.

I remember that feeling of "Oooohhh! Yeah, I get it!" that came as a result of that statement.

Life is weird. Can't make this stuff up.

Anyway, I suppose I should stop procrastinating now and go work on this:

Hopefully it'll be done in the next several weeks.
Cross your fingers for me, no matter what your instrument is. :)

Snuggling with Seedlings & Partying with Plants

So this evening, as I'm sitting here watching Gilmore Girls reruns with my sister (which make us talk ridiculously fast for 1.3 hours after each episode,) waiting for a video to upload about my amazing Mount Shasta retreat that I'll be facilitating with the beautiful and amazing Leija Turunen, and, of course, spending time researching random things on the internet (I do my best shopping between the hours of 11pm and 3am,) I found.....these absolutely phenomenal little gems.

Wearable plants!

(find it here)

When I was a little girl, I got a clear plastic medallion that came with plant-growing gel, a seed or two to sprout, and even a little pink plastic baby bottle that you were supposed to fill with water every day to gift the seedling with a few drops of water.

(from kbheinlein)

Of course my 8-year-old self waaaay over-watered the plants so nothing ever grew for me (too much love, what can I say? Moderation is more comfy in this day and age...)

(WearablePlanter Etsy shop)

...but the idea still has a VERY strong pull for me.

(Living Moss Terrarium necklace from NaturalWoodland on Etsy)

Just think! The idea of wearing a beautiful, living, growing and symbiotic being around your neck. As a tree-talker myself, the company would be more than welcome.

(Etsy's NaturalWoodland again)

(and same)

And what a conversation piece.

(a little banana plant from here)

I've taken to only wearing crystal lately, and this covers both bases. Ah, gorgeous.

(A wearable air plant and crystal planter from RawEarth Studios on Etsy)

...And so after ogling necklaces for quite a while, I came across this article:

(Read the article here)

So which shall I do? Make one myself or order one already made? Each side has pros or cons. I'll sleep on it :)

Midnight Madness, Awesomely So

You know that your new sleep schedule is working when your phone alarm goes off at 2am and you wake up with the Mission Impossible theme song in your head...



It's funny 'cause it's truuuue.

The feeling that I know some secret that no one else knows still runs strong when I wake up in the wee hours, do a little puttering around, think up some crazily awesome shite, and then go back to bed.

For instance, tonight I'm pondering the connection between super healthy, vibrant bodies and spot-on intuition.

Is it any coincidence that many raw foodists are also TOTALLY into energy, healing, manifestation, and sacred, conscious living?
Or is it because their bodies are just so full of Light that it's impossible to be "numbed down" enough to not see what's actually going on?

(As a mostly raw foodist myself - I'll say the latter is the case. I've never been MORE plugged in than I am when I'm raw. I've come and gone with the strictness over the years, but hands down, raw food gives you the happiest, most joyous, and most freaking interesting life in the world.)

But on a more serious note, for most of you reading my blog, I'm aware that a lot of you guys have latent or not-so-latent psychic abilities, and that said abilities often run in families. Goodness knows, SO DOES CONTACT. If you're abducted, your momma and her momma and her momma were probably abducted too. (I'm not a fan of the word "abducted" b/c mine are definitely voluntary, but I'll go with what's in common usage at the moment.)
So...when we have psychic and contact stuff in our genetic line, there also pops up, from time to time, a little insanity.

Maybe insanity is too strong a word. I guess imbalance is what I'm after. Maybe some depression, some schizophrenia (which is what I thought I had when I first Awoke spiritually - until my "voices" saved my life and were always, always accurate...then I had to reexamine my whole self diagnosis...) Anyway, I have a theory on why this happens.

 I think that our genes are trying to get us to a NEW level of Human. One with all of the latent abilities that we've had in our genetic code since the beginning (and hence you have stories of extra-human abilities here and there since the beginning of man, often more easily accepted in ancient times than they would be nowadays, no less...)

One that would shift our world, because being able to do things like easily speak mind to mind, regulate one's bodily comfort like heat and cool, access the endless recorded information available at the level of pure Universal consciousness, levitate, and teleport would definitely cut down on electric bills, internet usage time, not to mention airline travel! Paradigms would shatter, stuff would shift...

...and only somewhat unrelated to that is what would happen to each of us physically and psychologically as we got used to the "new" way of doing things.

I'm not saying I can do that stuff, at least not most of it. Most of it is still just a thought in my head, a wondering, a knowledge that the keys are SOMEWHERE in there and I just need to find them and turn them to unlock a new way of existence for myself.

So do we all, really. And I think we will if we can just stay focused long enough to do it! Which caffeine, alcohol, clogging junk foods and neurotoxins in lots of the stuff we routinely expose ourselves to makes super duper difficult!

Which brings me back around to that insanity thing.

I think I've stumbled onto a "Eureka!!!" moment.

I think that what happens to cause that imbalance or insanity is that a person's circuits get blown out, so to speak. Too much information and energy running along "wires" that are too small or frayed to handle it, so there's a short in the system. And by system, I mean Human body and brain. Yikes.

I know this from experience - my contact experiences progress slowly, very gently, and I know that a LOT is wiped from my day-to-day, conscious mind. When I've requested faster learning or asked why I'm not receiving more info and experiences more quickly, I get responses that say something along the lines of,

"It would be exceedingly difficult for you to function well in the mundane society you now engage in if you were to receive the amounts of information you request at the pace that you request it. You must stay intact in order for you to accomplish what you must accomplish."

Or, in other words - "we don't want to break you because if we do, you can't do your thing."

Some would say that this sounds sinister, but it's delivered with so much love that I can't honestly say that I feel afraid at ALL. More like impatient. And this doesn't just happen with alien stuff, it also comes when I'm trying to access my own dormant information, a lot of which I've had access to in past lives and have now "forgotten," or put to sleep, in order to, I suppose, wake back up to it in this incarnation, figuring out how to get there, and by sharing what I find, light torches along the way for those who would walk the same path.

So...I also think that you are a LOT less likely to break, or crack, if you keep your body amazingly healthy! Which brings me back to raw foodism and such.

My advice would be this - you want to enhance your psychic awareness and other extrasensory perception stuff? GO RAW. Not 100% necessarily, but start the journey. That alone will jump start your progress. And exercise and dance around your living room and laugh a lot and meditate...basically, keep your circuits clear. Oh, and H.Y.D.R.A.T.E. That's a big one.

True story.

I'll say here again that to those who haven't experienced enough to break them at least somewhat out of the matrix, I know I sound like a raving lunatic. No surprises there. And I don't particularly mind. :) But for those who know better, well, you know better.

(cue the M.I. theme again.)

Live long and prosper! And goodnight, I'm back to bed <3

Epic shit take epic effort, usually.

This quote.
Is cool.
And I like it.

It's 12:30am in these parts and I'm up after having taken a sleeping shift from about 8:30ish to midnight. Finally, for the first time in days, I actually had the wherewithal to really get UP when my alarm went off for the middle-of-the-night awake shift, rather than just lay there and reason with myself-
"Okay, I'm getting up..."
"But I'm really sleepy."
"And it feels really nice to just lay here."
"But I'll stay up, I'll stay up, let me just do some deep breathing."
"Yeah, okay, this is working, I can just lay here and be conscious and that will count, right?"
"Okay, breathing...."
"....zzzzzzzzzzzz....."

The first perk of sleeping alone is that it makes getting up about one million times easier. Without someone warm to be snuggling with, the bed loses some of its appeal.

The second perk is that you get the ENTIRE space to use however you want. With the option to twist and turn and dance tangled in the covers with no thought in that unconscious physical place about allowing another person comfort, the bed gains some more appeal.

So I'm back in the middle... :)

But anywayssss...

 I'm up now, and now is good. I'll be heading back to bed in a bit and awakening at 4am to head out to Perris Valley, CA with my sister this weekend so she can do some skydiving awesomeness. It's her thing. And though I've been and sure it was adrenalinely rushingly awesome, I have a lower need for stimulation. I'd rather just go meditate under a tree somewhere. So she can skydive and I'll hang out nearby and do the second thing. :)

This week has been weird and sad and amazing and generally nutso. Life is changing so freaking fast! And I couldn't be more thrilled to be back in the "land of the living" technology-wise. I've found such awesome new friends via all of my work on the internet. It does have its drawbacks, sure, but it's also easy to see how the web has transformed the world in really beautiful ways.

And that leads me back to epic shit.

I have discovered that this is apparently Lightworker break up season all over the world! I won't harp on my relationship stuff b/c one of the things that I'm doing to respect my ex's privacy is not air out our laundry for the entire world - he wasn't so big on that. I've always been more of the in-public liver, from the beginning. But I always felt compelled to do so, and have even been told lots in meditation that one of my main gifts is just in sharing what's going on with me so others don't feel so alone, especially when weird stuff happens.

And weirder and weirder things happen all the freaking time! I mostly love it. And sometimes shite gets scary or sad, but afterwards there are always amazing lessons that yes, I am genuinely grateful for.

This breakup thing is kind of like that. The best thing about it, and the thing that I will never, ever take for granted, is that there's no betrayal or lies or nastiness or anything that usually causes divorce. My ex is really, truly, a beautiful, wonderful, intelligent and unique man, and I know he's going to serve the world in amazing ways. Just not by my side. But something I've come to realize is that truly, I wouldn't want to be with someone anyway who I had to convince to be there - I'll wait until 1) I'm totally healed and my field is clear of any romantic attachments for a WHILE before jumping in to anything else, and 2) someone shows up who adores me and wants to be with me, doesn't go back and forth and not really know whether having me in his life is a good thing or a bad thing.

And I can't judge too much - one of the huge things that happened in my own spiritual awakening nine years ago was that I broke up with my 4.5 year boyfriend, who everyone in the world (including us) assumed that marriage and kids was a done deal with. He was wonderful too. But he didn't believe what I woke up and found myself forehead-deep in. And it didn't work. With this situation, it's the opposite. Obviously I believe in all things spiritual, so this guy's awakening isn't hindered by constraints in my thinking. But I have a hunch that the opposite is true - I've already figured out so much of where my views and understandings of things lie, that I think that this may be just as hindering to someone just figuring the same thing out for themselves as my first boyfriend's non belief and comparatively closed mindedness was for me, no matter how sweet he was.

So there you go.

And here I am, partially heartbroken, but every day that recedes more and I realize that I'd looped so much of my energy through him and through our relationship that I'd been more or less starving myself in ways that I was honestly 100% unaware of.

Hence this HUGE, overflowing burst of inspiration and energy now that I'm single again.

Also, I'd lost my swagger!

And seriously.

You should never lose your swagger.

I missed my swagger without even realizing it was gone :)

I think I'd rather be single from here on out than lose my swagger again. Just sayin'.

So epic shit requires epic effort. And the epic effort doesn't seem to come in the doing of the epic shit - that comes through inspiration and energy and awesomeness, I'm finding. The effort comes in self-weeding, a.k.a. getting out all of those binds we put around ourselves, convincing ourselves in tiny incremental steps that we're weak and powerless until we, say, lose our swagger.

My ex didn't take my swagger from me. In fact, who knows what would have happened if I hadn't dropped my swagger on the sidewalk somewhere. But I did, without realizing it, and you can't love or be loved well if you've lost pieces of yourself as a result of the relationship that is meant to be icing on the cake of life, not the dinner entree - if you know what I mean.

Perhaps I'm being confusing. It is late. And I do write stream-of-consciousness style. But I have a hunch that a lot of you, especially you fellow Lightworker women, know what I'm talkin about - dontcha? ...

And now, I'm coming back! And the world is lighter again rather than being so heavy. Colors are brighter. And I'm going raw mostly again, which adds a WHOLE other level of awesomeness. Also just ordered some ormus. Whoooa. Can't wait for that to get here.

I'm pretty positive that this will be an AMAZING year. And since we're about halfway through, this realization comes not a moment too soon.

I think the main work now is to move OUT of the way of things and just settle back into enjoyment and inspiration, moving when I feel moved to move. Ya know?

And that's how the epic shit will arrive. At least, that's how it always has before.

Ok, off to bed again. Y'all have an amazing weekend. I'll be here and there. Video ideas are flowing like water these days, it's nuts. As I type I have a list of like 8 more that are all in my head, waiting to be recorded. Should be fun times. And more is in the works, like a web class and a new radio show I've been approached to host and a potential long-term trip to Hawaii and just other really amazing things.

But after the grounding year I've just had, the danger from floating away as a result of all the amazing things going on right now is minimal. A benefit of being brought down to earth.

Nothing wrong with having your head in the clouds (or even farther up, in my case,) as long as your feet are on the ground too.

It's a beautiful planet - quite a nice one to have you toes touching, anyway :)

A Walk to the Park

On my second day in Redondo Beach, I decided to go for a walk to a nearby park and the botanical gardens therein.
I LOVE botanical gardens. They make me happy. And now that I'm in the city, I'm realizing how deeply I'd connected to the complex and very wild nature back in the Blue Ridge mountains. I kind of miss it - but I'm learning so much about how to be Awake in the city that I don't really mind. Besides, I have experiences like this one to keep me nice and grounded.

Early in the morning, after my workout and before my smoothie, I was meditating. My meditation starts with a balancing of all my chakras, followed by a clearing and smoothing of my energy field and a few moments dedicated to whatever I'm trying to bring forth in my life. After that, I talk to all my buddies in the different realms. To be specific, first I go check in with a large overarching group where lots of my guides come to speak to me at once - that said, they're mostly ETs at that point. Then I chat with my main ET guide (who I call my Rhythm Teacher - it's a long story,) and then with the Angelic realm representatives who hang out with me. After that I talk to some devic spirits (a.k.a. fairies) and finally, with Gaia overall - lately, by the way, she's been saying that she's nearly all good - that we just have to come where she is in our resonant state to see it.

But anyway, the devas had been large and in charge in the mountains, which was what made me aware of them in the first place. I hadn't believed in fairies since I was a little girl, and even then I didn't claim to consciously believe in them (rather choosing to draw pictures of them all the time and even build little things for them outdoors, thinking I was "just playing"...) but when something is floating in front of your face, literally and figuratively, it's really hard to not believe it. That, in fact, is insanity. I'm not typing on a computer right now. No way. Imaginary.

See?

Moving on.

So on that morning, the fairies told me that they'd be with me as I went out and about that day. Then they told me to "look for the flowers."

Ok, that seemed like an easy task.

I left my sister's apartment and began to walk up a nearby street. Driving down it many times, I'd never noticed how many flowers there were! Every other tiny yard was beautifully manicured, with flowers spilling over fences and peeking up from tiny, intricate, lacy layers of ground cover.

Before I was a block in, I noticed some beautiful blue flowers hanging over the sidewalk. One bunch of them had been somehow severed from its partners and was there delicately sitting on the sidewalk.

Yes!
One of the main (and very random) things that I couldn't help from doing this past year was wearing fresh foliage in my hair. Since much of my time spent back East was during the cold season, I pretty much constantly wore dark green Juniper leaves either braided into my hair or tucked into a ponytail. Somehow this grounded me and made me feel more connected. I think adding that harmonic life force to the part of us most often disconnected - our heads - does more than just add cosmetic value.  And wearing artificial stuff obviously just isn't the same...

I'd thought about doing the same out here, but I don't like cutting flowers. It's not like there's a tree with a zillion leaves who drops fresh ones every morning and I can go outside when the grass is still wet with dew and gather a handful to choose from, or like my nonexistent yard is filled with wild flowers, some of which volunteer to be picked and worn as I bend over each bunch, asking with my Heart who wants to come and hang out with me.

In the city, it's different.

Except when a beautiful cut flower (that matches your outfit, no less) just shows up where you're walking.

So I did what anyone would do, I put a sprig in my hair and carried the rest of the bunch until I found a pretty place to leave it, coating the flowery branch with my intentions that it brighten someone else's day the way it had brightened mine.

The walk continued, and about a block later, there was an empty and clean plastic grocery bag on the sidewalk in front of me.

Whew, that was close...

I've often read advice by other interdimensional ambassador types that say to always bring a plastic bag with you when you take a walk in order to gather litter as you go. It always sounds like a good idea, and I always forget. So this day, I was gifted with one. With only a moment's hesitation due to my self consciousness about how odd I must look bending down to pick up trash off the sidewalk, I gathered up that bag and went on.

Of course there were lots of little things to pick up along the way. Because I was still in morning traffic hours, there were a good amount of cars cruising by and every time I bent to pick up a wrapper or random piece of something man made and trashy, I felt a little weird. It's funny how social norms often curb us from doing what is right. And the likelihood is that no one would have even noticed me at all, much less looked at me askance for collecting litter.

The main part of this walk, however, was the beautiful city. I was in the suburbs, and there's lots of really adorable and creative architecture around here. More than anything though, I noticed how many plants and trees and flowers there are. I was as guilty of the next of thinking of suburbia, and especially SoCal suburbia, of being a concrete and asphalt wasteland where nothing grew and certainly where no fairies could survive.
Not so, as it turns out!

Fabulous.

And besides, I got to pass some really interesting things, like a couple of Dr. Seussy trees. Here's the first one which reminds me of the Lorax...

And a beautiful magnolia pruned to where it's not the normal thick, green, glossy magnolia of the South that I'm used to, but beautiful all the same.

A palm tree against the sky just clearing itself of the June gloom marine layer for the first time that day...

Eventually, I made it over to the park (taking a massive detour and getting a bit lost, but not minding a bit) and hung out with the trees.

A beautiful pine,

And then I meditated under this second Dr. Seussy tree.

There were some very zenned out (and slightly overweight) seagulls hanging out on the shores of the park's man made lake. I snapped a pic of this one. He wasn't sure whether or not he would fly off, so I crooned to him as I took shot after shot, finally ending up with this one of him looking at my camera. Seagulls are so unique and funny among birds - they have an interesting type of intelligence that we normally miss because we don't hang out with them much, I think.

All in all, it was a fabulous day. And now I have some lovely blue flowers to press in my journal to prove it.

Have a beautiful weekend!

Changing Tides

In three days I'll get on an airplane and fly away West.
I'm feeling conflicted.

When I was writing my first blog (I feel the need to change 'em up every couple years or so,) I often wondered why I didn't get the type of readership that similar, but more dramatic blogs got. I spoke of maintaining mindfulness, and bringing general spiritual awareness to everyday life. I shared my struggles and triumphs, or so I thought, and was fully intending to make each person who read my blog's life a little bit better for having visited. Why did other writers, who spoke of grumpy times and arguments and pain get more love than I did?

I didn't get it.

Now, I think I do.

It's nice and all to have inspirational quotes and tips for being happy and fulfilled, no matter what you're doing. But it's hard to connect with someone who doesn't share her flaws and her difficulties. When I thought I was writing about my struggles, I was only choosing the easiest solved problems in my life to speak of. And it isn't as if I think it's beneficial for anyone to whine, complain, or bitch all the time, but on the other hand, what's the point of sharing a life in the way that blogs do if you don't actually share your life?

Back to that imminent flight.

Without airing too many personal details that belong to other persons and who it isn't my right to share, I'll say that just about every single aspect of my life is about to drastically change. For all intents and purposes, I'll be living a very different life in a week from now, and less than that, even.

Granted, on one hand I'm excited and optimistic and I am absolutely certain that the summer will be glorious. On the other hand, I'm scared. I don't know exactly what will happen. And although trusting the Universe/God is great (and what choice do we have anyway, once you really think about it,) lessons taught aren't always chocolate and rainbows. It will likely be hard in ways that I haven't thought of yet.

I'm a little bit psychic. Or a lot psychic. I know that may sound odd, but it's true. And rather than making life easier, this often makes life harder. Extrasensory perception isn't usually what it's portrayed as in the movies. I can feel others' emotions and often, if I'm asked to do so, I can sort of see the landscape of a person's life - their true life, struggles, and what they can do to go further along their path in the most harmonious way. But those things only apply to oneself so much, especially because doing what needs to be done is often much easier said than done.

For now?

I'm to wait.
Trust.
Have faith.
Breathe.
Find joy in every moment.
Focus on my body.
Be aware of everything around me and live as if every action, word, and thought is a sacred ritual.

See? Easier said than done. Especially that last one. With one glorious exception, I've never been able to maintain that state for more than 5 minutes or so...and I'm supposed to live it? All the time?

Argh.

In a meditation yesterday morning, I was given the following advice:

The reasons behind the change happening to you and to those around you are two fold: First, they are alerting you to the diverse possibilities of perception and experience. The Gaian dimension is shifting and thoughts are manifesting - but even more, emotions are manifesting. You are being shown what you are asking for via your focus and attention. If you do not like it, refine it. Bring life into every movement. Second, transitions are happening everywhere. Situations are solidifying for the next plateau of learning and experience, which will come mid June. The steps forward (and lack of) in the last cycle decided where you would be now.

Ok, I get it. So what happens, I suppose, is that life is split into kind of a plateaued step-shaped progression. We have a time of upheaval (which tends to often be more emotional than physical for me, although sometimes, such as now, EVERYTHING changes,) then a period of relative stability while we are given a chance to learn the lessons or achieve the potentialities for growth gifted us. Then, another transition comes, and all is repeated. Makes sense. Doesn't make it easier by much.

So, I guess, the moral of the current story is...life isn't supposed to be easy? Yet? I do know that once true Presence is attained, existence turns into more of a dance than anything else - and I know this because I have been Present for periods of time where everything smoothed out in the most beautiful and blissful way...but obviously, I ain't always there.

So tomorrow I will pack.

And Sunday I will fly. And once my plane lands, I'll step off of it a new me, in a familiar place, and see what comes.

Instead of seeing all the disorder and disruptions, instead of viewing it as your world falling apart, think instead that this is an opportunity to create something beautiful and better. ❤ ╰☆╮ ☯
All great changes are preceded by chaos.
~ Deepak Chopra