To Love a Witch

I sat on a yellow chair at the dining table, inching ever closer to the window so the bright sunlight could  set my leg to warm tingling for as long as possible as it arched overhead, sipping on my tea that said this.

I was grounding in after a morning of multidimensional work - taking the energetic temperature of what the planet was asking me to broadcast out for this month's Full Moon intentions, doing some manifestation work for friends, and just having finished an Intuitive Healing Reading.

A book sat open before me on the table, my eyes dancing over the pages, nibbling on the easy prose. I love to do heavy duty research and immerse myself in ancient esoteric scripture as well as modern scientific academia, but every now and then, you need a good novel to just be human and enjoy that experience as much as the weightier stuff.

The book I was reading today was all about a natural born "witch" who, among other things, fell in love with someone she met in her ancestral land of Ireland.

The line that this man said about her being a magical person stopped me in my tracks and had me open my computer, log in, and type up this blog entry. What I read was as follows:

"Because it's there. It is. And I'd like to know one single bloody man," he continued with some heat, "who wouldn't give it some considerable thought."

I sat still for a moment, my eyes'  dancing pace down the page stopped cold. I'm a fast reader, and for me, books are more delicious snacks or yummy meals than long undertakings.
But I was stumped. I felt the truth of what he said resonate in my being. And I remembered how often I'd felt this energy come from people who could love me, who perhaps did love me, but who feared me more, because of something I was born with.

Love can't survive a fear like that. Especially not budding, new love. Even when one has been "warned" about the unexplainable nature of happenings around people like us, it is different when sh*t gets weird with you standing there.

And why, I must add, is natural magic anything to be WARNED about in the first place?

Part of being human is being magical, intuitive, empathic, and conscious of energetic lines running through the world around us.

Mothers can hear the slightest sounds their babies make down the hall. A "mother's hearing" is more often intuition than auditory sensitivity.
I'm sure you reading this, no matter whether or not you think of yourself as magical or intuitive, have thought of a long lost friend before only to have her or him call you in the near future.

When people we love hurt, we feel it. When people we love triumph, we feel that too, often before the phone rings.

But when there are people who have a stronger attunement to such things innately, does our culture treat them like natural mathematicians or musical prodigies?

When a child can call up the winds, talk to animals, or even do something more intense like make an object glow or float (yes, I have seen it), what is the response?

Sadly, it is all too often
Fear.

"Don't bring trouble."
"Don't show anyone you can do it."
"That is demonism."
"It can be dangerous."

Well, so can driving a car or wielding a knife for dinner, but the keys and knives aren't all locked in a vault deep in our subconscious minds.

We learn to use those more mundane parts of existence that can be seen as dangerous, not hide and starve them.

Back to the point of this blog entry -
So many times over my life I've had to have the "I'm not like other girls" chat with potential suitors.

Sometimes this freaked them out right in the beginning and that was that.

Sometimes they laughed it off until they saw something odd happen, and then they vanished.

Every now and then someone would act interested and even fall in love with me seemingly because of the refreshing quality of my magic, only to eventually get overwhelmed and see me as something frightening.

I'll never forget the phone call with a college boyfriend who told his roommates about that conversation we'd just had and later said to me,
"They said I'd better be careful not to make you mad, because you're a witch."
We both laughed.
"….you're not a witch, are you?"

What could I say? Clearly when he said the word "witch," this image is what he was picturing.

In my world, being what I am (which I don't ordinarily call "witch," but which does fit the description if the true one is used, not the fear-mongering one left over from mass hysteria driven by patriarchal mob mentality afraid of the power of the female) this is what I see when I think about how to describe the gifts I was born with and have never been able to ignore with much success.

Luckily for all of us, we are coming into a new paradigm of belief where the less scientifically explainable side of life is no longer cause to board up your windows for fear of rocks or stay inside at night for fear of pitchforks or burning effigies.

Nowadays, people are understanding that magic is something that we ALL have. And whether or not we choose to use it can be a similar decision as whether or not we choose to learn to play the piano - pianists are not better than those who can't read music or plunk out tunes.

It is just a different specialization.

When I think about what it must be like for someone who has never thought about magic being actually, literally real to come into a conversation with someone like me who not only believes it, but uses its principles daily to make the world a more amazing place in whatever ways I possibly can, from energy healing to imbuing spaces with sacred symbols for activation and harmonic alignment, I get that it can be scary or daunting.

Everything new is a challenge.
Will we accept that which is different?
Will we be tyrants all over again?

And for those of us who are consciously evolving in this way, will we, in turn, be the tyrants, judging those who do not choose to focus on this specialization as something "lesser?"
Yes, that happens, and no, it isn't okay.

It takes all types to live and love on our beautiful planet.

We are here for the rainbows, after all.

The Best High Ever

            Whatever the course ends up authentically being, I think the key is to not slumber in waking life. To not be hypnotized and tied up by the pretty light show of all that is happening in this terribly dangerously beautiful dimension, but to remember and actualize our purpose and intention behind coming here. To master this space by mastering ourselves.

            What does that look like for each person, though?

            I assume that there are as many mastery methods as there are people. But I do suspect that the space I reach when I am deeply breathing (a challenge in itself to hold more than a minute or two) has to do with it. Coming fully, deliciously into the present moment, over and over and over again, lights the world that is “seen” with an inner illumination that can only be likened to states of being that are enhanced by chemicals of some form or another.

            True Presence is the best high ever.

            And rather than numbing you down into your body or shuttling you out of it, the altered state given by focus and attention on the lines between consciousness and physicality (namely, breath and attention) provides you with a key.

            A key to see through the illusion.

            I’ve been practicing this – for me personally, it does also have to do with the way I focus my eyes – a sort of looking “through” things that I have historically only allowed to happen when doing an intuitive healing reading or other type of non-3D-limited work. But considering that I am my most Whole when I am doing this work, why in the world had I limited my full self to the “office?”

            What was I afraid of?

            That’s an easy one to answer. I’ve been afraid of freaking people out, of them thinking I see things they may want to keep hidden (which of course I do) and of being all alone.

            Well, here’s a wake up call – aloneness comes when aloneness comes, no matter what camouflage you wear.

            And so does connection, and deep beautiful communion on many levels.

            But it is sure that the connection and communion that can gloriously blast through awareness and change everything to bring in greater expansion of this Universe we’re squeezing into finds it a more difficult path in if you are pretending to be less than you are…

            Today is the day to try it, methinks.

The Present Storm

        Let me take a look into the ethers to find some direction.

        I see a storm swirling all around me – some of the damage I sustain as a result is my doing because of my resistance and unwillingness to let bones fall as they may, but much of the storm itself is due to the pure energetic “weather” sweeping the worlds I reside in at this time. Okay. What is in the storm? It is indigo in color, shot through with golden lightning and silver rain, beating down old structures that have stood for ages upon ages and renewing the land beneath, toppling fortresses and towers made of meme and paradigm, even decimating places such as epic gardens and blooming walkways, all being cleared for the formation of something completely new.

        What will this thing be?

        …

        I am not allowed to see yet. For now, there is only the storm.

        So how to navigate such a thing?

       Obviously no external source of support can be trusted. Not because of treachery, but because of the strength and fury of this time of change. No umbrella can survive this. Whatever force is knocking down millennia-old towers of thought forms’ stone and mortar will pulverize any small, temporary (or even less small and less temporary) rain shelter that one may seek safety under.

        So grasping for any anchor outside of oneself is a fool’s errand. Okay. What other option is there? To look within, of course.

        The image that comes to mind is of one curling downward, sitting on haunches, head down, arms around knees, back curved, breathing in the still air made by the heart-filled cave between chest and chin, waiting. Feeling the storm lash and wail around the tiny space of sanctuary created by one’s own body (in this case, one’s own vibrational pattern,) but choosing instead to focus on the space of safety created by the sureness, strength, and motionless calm created by the choice to remain steadfast in the mist of such a transitional force. If one lifts her or his head to look around and focus on what is happening to objects, people, or places that are outside oneself, that head (a.k.a. that center and clarity of thought presence) can get whipped off in the debris flying about, or by the pure energy itself. To keep one’s head, maybe just for today, it must be kept quiet.

       I see. I see that old beliefs, old structures that were constructed by ourselves or others made of paradigms, expectations and understandings of “how the world works” on ALL levels, are being cleared. What will come next – that I can’t see. We have to wait until the storm shouts itself out and wet streaks of sun break that presently impenetrable indigo cloud barrier. And we can’t expect to be able to trust any one other than ourselves at this time as a source of support and inspiration. This isn’t reason to feel alone – but it is reason to feel strong. 

      Mostly because no other choice exists.